Talking Parrots With Foul Mouths - joke

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say,"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

ODOR IN THE COURT! - Animal Joke

One day in a court trial, a skunk walks in and the judge yells, ODOR IN THE COURT!!!

Ex-Girlfriend and Celebrating - joke

A husband is sitting with his wife at his 65th high school reunion. The husband kept staring at a drunken lady swigging a case of Miller Lite. The wife was getting jealous that her husband was staring at the lady instead of her. So she demanded “Do you know her!?!”. “Yes” said the husband calmly. “She’s an ex-girlfriend of mine. We split up when we was in 11th grade. And I heard she hasn’t been sober since.” he said. “My god!” said the wife. “Who would think that someone could go that long celebrating?”

What Do You Call…

What do you call a cheap Jew’s daughter?
Penny.

What do you call a guy who cancels laws?
Vito.

What do you call a guy who has diamonds instead of testicles?
Jules.

What do you call a guy who lets people shit all over him?
John.

What do you call a guy with mucus in his throat?
Fleming.

What do you call a woman during her period?
Flo.

What do you call a woman who lets frogs sit on her face?
Lily.

What do you call a woman who likes to go down on other women?
Mufly.

What do you call a woman with a moist pussy?
Marsha.

70 Ways to keep a women happy

There are 70 ways to keep a woman happy

One is to take her shopping.

The rest is 69.

3 Wishes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

Small Business Bailout Plan